i hate it when someone is out there to screw my brain's up and being so damn right about it. thou i deny as much as i can..

but deep down i wanna tell him/ her "damn, ure so right about what u had said. i'm speechless, alright.. u won."

guess its about saving one's 'face' and ego. URGH!

looks like u were so damn right about what u had said about me, all those months ago, on the phone. i hate to admit it, but it was. i was speechless at the point of time. loss for words. finding ways to change the topic while u were still yakking away about me.

felt the need to ask u to shut the hell up and not say anymore cos who were u to me at that point of time?

u dont know me well and yet u were there saying shit. thou all of that was nothing but the truth.

but i held back, refrain myself from asking u to shut up. partly it was rude to do so.

anddddddd, all that was a piece of advise which clearly i refuse to listen/ heed till now..

who am i to blame? .....myself.

now that ure gone. someone has taken over your place to tell me the same shit. the same damn thing! thou this time, hes a colleague of mine.

i thought about it the whole day. that was what it was making me upset. i was upset with myself..

thoughts were running wild like zebras in the fields of africa.

one of the biggest thought i had in my mind, kept ringing in my head..

its like flashlights, flashing on and off for every 5 seconds. and it says: "AM I REALLY THAT HORRIBLE? AM I?!"

don't get me wrong, ure no longer there right up in my damn mind. just that, what happened today reminded me alot of what u had said..

at times, life suck so much. u just wanna dig a hole, go in there, cover up the hole and come out only when u feel better or maybe FOREVER.

):