apologies for the lack of updates.

nothing interesting ENOUGH that's happening in my life right now, to be blogged about.

no inspiration to come out with an interesting entry to make you laugh or at least smile.
**

you know what? i can't be hell bothered by anything that's going on right now. ive got NOTHING to look forward to. its the same ol fucking routine every single day.

everyday, i have to be told what to do. my actions are being controlled. even on my once a week day off.. it's like an order to go to my grandma's house.

i cant stay at home? hell. doesnt mean, i go to my grandma's on my every, day off. it's a must for me to go there on every single day off.

he said(referring to my dad here.) i go over there just to use my aunt's laptop. cos my aunt's at home today, i dont dare to go over.

well u know what? the answer's no. doesn't mean my aunt's at home. i dont dare to go over. just that for today, i don't feel like going over.

what? my grandma doesnt say anything about me going over or not. why should YOU even interfere whether im going over today or not. it's my legs, my my mind. my will to go or not.

see? even during my day off.. my dad has to control me. now, i cant even stay at home and do what i want?

den he assume, the reason i go over is because of the laptop not visiting my grandma. u know what? i wld suggest to know before speaking and not pretend to be all smart and act like you know everything.

sometimes, keeping your mouth shut and not interfering wld do u good. u wont get old and grumpy that fast/ early.

even if so, yes for the sake of the laptop there. at least when i get there. i get a peace of mind. i dont hear anyone nagging at me so often like you do. i dont hear anyone swearing at me like you were born to do nothing but open your mouth to swear at people.

all i want is, not interfering in what i do. as long as i am aware, what im doing isnt wrong at all. im not committing crimes whatsoever. so i dont see, why should you be controlling my actions in whatever i do.

even what i do online, you wanna talk about it. i cant watch youtube videos, or more like what i watch is stupid to you. doesnt mean whats stupid to you is stupid for me. well, i think whatever u watch on youtube is equally stupid to me.

so yes, everyone is given a choice on what they wanna watch, so doesnt mean what you watch there is amusing to you means its amusing to everyone and vice versa.

like im watching youtube videos, he ask obnoxious questions like "why u watch youtube videos. u have to be online on msn?"

oh i didnt know while im on youtube, im not permitted to be on msn. i didnt know there was sucha law. he said the popping things on msn annoys him. well its ok to me. why should u care about the popping things?! fuck.

if it annoys you, den shift the god damn computer back to my room and u wont be annoyed. ok?

thinking about shifting the computer back to my room is a no no too. well his so fucking inconsiderate, knowing i hate the smell and smoke from cigarettes and back then when the computer is still in my room. he wld be in my room in the morning or anytime of the day.. smoking hile omn the computer.

imagine the smell thats lingering in my rooooooooom?! doesnt mean the smoke from cigarettes smells like roses to you means it smells like roses to everyone in the house. thats your problem if u wanna harm your lungs like that, but please.. dont drag everyone down like that by harming their lungs too.

if i die one day from lung diesease or something, i will come back and haunt you. cos i dont think i deserve all that shit from your smoking habits.

and again, i wanna say this.. if u hate me so much from day 1. i dont see why you bring me to this world and till now, u start mind fucking me every single day. u know why? u should have got mom to abort me. maybe that, i wont feel so miserable every single day. having to see your fuck face everyday to get through everyday.

besides having to see my dad's fuck face every single day from the time i wake up get to work and going back home..

another fuck face i have to see everyday each day is my colleague. WHO HAPPENS TO BE MY DAD'S FRIEND. she was the one who got me into this job and shes the chef there.

thank you for getting me into this job but no thanks having to see ur fuck face everyday. she gets alla ngry with me the other time for no fuck reason. if so, at least tell me what wrong ive done. so at least i know where and how im in the wrong.

one thing i hate about people is that, their emotions change without any given warning. verbal warning i mean., they just change and show their anger on the things they are doing like banging the table or answering to your questions like they swallowed fireballs or something.

just yesterday she told me "when ur dad's free get hime to call me. i wanna talk to him."

u think shes gonna just TALK to him casually like a friend to friend conversation? hell no.

i bet shes gonna complain about me. oh hey.. given the situation im having with my dad right now. if shes gonna complain to my dad about how i work daily. hes not gonna blow his top off? hah! i wont believe. i wld be skinned alive or something.

so in future, if u can.. dont ever work for your dad's or mom's friend even if they offer. if u do something wrong. ure dead meat, they fucken complain their ass off and some adults LOVE exaggerating and thats a bitch i swear..

last BUT not least to everyone out there whose trying to make my life difficult and miserable..