i am tired.
my eyelids are heavy.
contacts sucked my eyes, dry.

've got work tomorrow.
i should go to bed now.

but i'm not doing any of it.

i have nothing to do online now..
i'm not talking to anyone.
i'm not watching youtube videos.

all i did for the past hour was, stare at the laptop's monitor screen and listen to songs.

yes, staring at the monitor screen and not doing anything.

in other words, im stoning. i know tonight's entry is gonna bore everyone out, but i had to do this.

my feelings are so mixed up now..

like placing strawberry syrup and vanilla ice cream in a blender.(yum, i know.)

i feeeeeeeeeeel weird and confused right now.
it's happening too fast.

i stared at the monitor screeen for an hour thinking what u had said..

im not hating it. im trying to accept it.

god, this shit is confusing.

what does my heart tell me now? what is it? im still searching for the answer.. yes, i am the only one whose able to answer this question.
**

if youre reading this, i just wanna let you know that.. you're awesome. you really are...
it's just me. i'm sorry.. i need some time.
**

i didnt know such things wld be so confusing, now i know...
***

p.s: close friends out there, if u had read this.. you're dying to find out what happened. dont even bother, seriously. im gonna deal with it and keep it low. i know THIS isnt a bad thing but i just dont wanna talk about it to anyone. im sorry, if we are tight or anying, i just dont wanna. i hope you(my friends) understand. thanks.