so, its 15 minutes to 4am. im still here. i slept too much in between earlier on. came home from grandma's place at 8pm. watched fiona xie on "serves you right."

i dozed off, dad asked me to go to my room and sleep and i woke up 4 hours later. thats right, after midnight.

dang!

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so a few days ago, after split shift break ended at 6pm. i was walking with my colleagues back to the restaurant. while 2 fellow members pushed the trolley loaded with stuff in teh front.

i was walking with the chef. he was tellin me about his youngest son and i was laughin my head off.(his son is really funny! lol)

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so i walked on and i saw him walking towards me like face to face.. its been like 2 years since i saw him and u know right in the face kinda thing?

a few times its either i see him from a distance or just happen to see him walking past.

well i didnt really look at him in the eyes. i was walking & talking at the same time when he walked past me. i didnt turn my head to see his back, i cant be bothered. but im pretty sure its him.

dont ask if i wonder how he felt when he saw me. i cant give a f* what his thoughts are seeing me. so what if he thought otherwise? we were not dating each other at all. just got VERY close, thats all.

how i felt? nothing.. after not contacting for 2 straight years. all faded. hah! some might know who im referring to. if you have no idea. dont ask. its the past.

yeah i admit in the past hes like constantly on my mind and stuff. now, of cos its in my mind cos im talking about it here. trust me, as soon as i end this off. he wld slip off my mind. (:

i was 16 yrs old then. alot things changed for the past 3 years. so does the heart..

its ok if he didnt take me seriously.

its ok if what i did he thinks its pure entertainment.

its ok he thinks that imma girl who needs someone to talk to.

THATS OK. so i cant give a s* right now about r/s and LOVE.

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what is going on in my life right now? my work. the things i learn everyday and the friends ive made. thats the priority.

dating someone or a bf? hah! i didnt give much thought on that.

so this message goes to my mom:

"ma, please dont be so crazy and asking me to go get a bf out of the blue. i dont see the reason to getting one. i see that im leading a pretty normal life. ok not as interesting as other 19 yr olds.

but i dont see myself having the NEED to have someone in my life to give me a hug or surprise me with little gifts. having a heart to heart talk if i needed one. keepin me company. or anything couples wld do. with a hectic work schedule i have?

i guess.. i will not bore another person out. besides that, u think its really easy to find someone u love as much as he loves u with like a snap of my fingers? in my opinion, no.

i hope you understand, stop probing me with all that stupid questions. cos my answer will always be the same."

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people these days(applies to both male and females.) want too much in a person. not everyone but a handful of people. surprisingly the numbers are increasing.

he/ she gotta be hot. for girls they are gonna be hot too even if shes only in your boxers and t-shirt without make up on and hair looking like she just got outta bed. same goes for guys only without the makeup thing going on.

he/ she must be there when you need him/ her at all times, 24/ 7.

he/ she must be able to fulfil your needs and wants. in everyway u can think of. from financially/ mentally/ physically.. if you know what i mean. (:

he/ she gotta look good enough to start showing off to your friends. where by your friends wld not have anything nasty to say but singing praises and possibly green with envy.

& alot more. if i hafta go on and on. i think i need not go to bed already.

its funny to talk about this, when....

valentine's day coming in 10 day's time. red roses and dark chocolates. night spent in a restaurant with nice ambience and great food followed by a walk at the beach by the shore, holding hands. sealed with a kiss on his/ her soft lips and embrace each other. love is in the air.

ha ha ha.

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oh! i have no idea what has gotten into me tonight.. to be talkin like that. lol. i guess my mind works this way tonight. lollllll. (:

ok, i gotta go! ciao.