i can't be bothered to type formally tonight. capital letter after a full-stop. capital letter for a new sentence. whatever. i can't be bothered. i'm sleepy, just wanna get this shit done and go to bed. (:

so many really thought i'm dating/ attached. bla bla. to the guy ive been mentioning on my past few entries here.

troy is his name. ha ha.

how i wish, but there isnt any one in my life now(xcept friends & family. that's fo sure.) neither a guy i know by the name, troy. i guess im good in all that shit. it's all fo entertainment. im too bored. i needa come up with things to make here seem interesting. otherwise, i would be talkin about the same shit.. daily. which i think im gonna do so. lol.

those know me long enough knew that 'boyfriend' of mine was made up. it doesnt exist. lol.. it isnt fun anymore. everytime i think of the mushy shit that i have to make up here to seem real makes my head near to explosion. imma murder of my brain cells. im gonna be sent to hell for that. hahaha.

so, why am i clearing up some of your doubts about this 'i'm attached to troy' matter? well, i dont know.

but 1stly.. for sure, i know im too bored to start thinking of new shit to update.

'love adventures of caron & troy.' shall die right at this very second. lol.

2ndly, im lazy.

3rdly, i think im crazy 'nuff to think of stuff like that. i must be deprive, you can say that which i dun give a flying f**k now.
**

shit happened today for me at work, i nearly shit my pants. i felt lost, i had no mood to work. i know i wasnt the one.. somehow, i was there at the point of time. got questioned by the police, statement taken by the I.O..

after all that crap. i head back to work. & yeah like what ive mentioned earlier on, i had no mood to work and allll i thought in my mind is that..

'oh hell, why the fuck this is happening.' although im the innocent one. i havent got into shit crap like that sucha as, policeman questioning me.

i had no one to turn to. my friends had their own stuff to mind, which i know.. its pretty lame to call them up and tell em,

'hey.. this & this had happened. what should i do.'

i felt like i wanna be that lil girl for once and whine like there's no tomorrow. but i chose not to do that, cos i know.. someone, somewhere wld say..

'oh, caron. quit whining like a bitch already. i am sick and tired of you complaining to me all day.'

i am aware! but can't i? whatever. how i wish this 'troy' guy was for real so that i can tell him whats happening and get him to come up with a solution. not whine to him but sit down together and talk things out, come up with a solution. encouragement in other words.

but where to find one? no. friends had things to do. i dont wanna trouble em.

sometimes, i feel like having someone to tell things to, so that we can work out something and solve it together. with NO strings attached, obviously. not a bf or whatever.. but someone.

and now, i sound desperate. holy fcuk. what is happening to me! seriously..

i guess, this would be something worth while to dream about. hopefully.

ok, there goes.. a new day tomorrow. got work. sigh.. night world.